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3 Goats of Despair

Bloody stupid seppos

That 'bloody' ad. Sure, it's stupid, but who the fuck could possibly be offended by it? Apparently everybody. Now the stupid conservative seppos are in on it. (Mind you, getting the bible belt to complain about anything is like shooting fish in a barrel.)

A major conservative American lobby group is set to unleash a campaign of protest against Australian tourism's "where the bloody hell are you?" TV advertisement.

"I don't want my children to hear that phrase.

"It's a shocking phrase because we're not familiar with it.

"I guess they use it all the time in Australia, but it's a foreign language here so I think it'll have a negative impact rather than positive."

Foreign language. Right. And the most fucking pisspoor excuse:

"When you think 'bloody' in America you think the red liquid that flows from human bodies which is usually a sign of some kind of violence," Sharp said.

So women experience 'some kind of violence' once a month eh?

Her: "Don't talk to me you insensitive oaf"
Him: "Sounds like she's experiencing some kind of violence"

"Australians are spending all of these millions of dollars inviting us, and if we go over there are we going to be exposing our kids to foul language and images of bloody?

I guess the Passion of the Christ was a family movie then...


3 angry goats

Physical Culture

Honestly, what is this shit anyway?



Does anybody realise how arse-numblingly boring this shit is when you're a 10 year old boy being forced to watch this fucked up sport? World, this is my revenge.


Five very angry goats

People Who Share Themselves With the World - Part 2

What is wrong with Europeans?




3 goats with tails between their legs

Hairy Gay Europeans

It reminds me of a story. I have a hairy gay friend. For a laugh he calls himself 'The Hairy Fairy'. Fairynuff. Some other guy walks in who overhears my friend calling himself 'The Hairy Fairy'. To which he replies, "Are you hairy?"




2 gay goats

$cientologists

Can kiss my flabby white arse. Words alone cannot describe the intense hatred I have for people fucked enough to join this cult.



I mean, look what it did to Tom Cruise! Fucking fruitcake.


5 angry goats

For all the wimmyn out there

I choose the Lesbian Power Authority as my trusted electricity provider. I really dig their services. They know just what a gal needs, and they make really wonderful mellow music.




Lesbians with hoes. There's got to be a joke in there somewhere.


3 gay goats

Young Liberals

Could there be more of a group of out of touch losers than the Young Liberals? I mean, what average, normal and everyday young person worships Robert Menzies? Weird fucknuts.



From their website...

"The Young Liberal Movement has been an important part of the Liberal Party for over 50 years and continues to provide the Party with new ideas & policies designed to help keep the Party in touch with the views of mainstream youth."

'Mainstream' youth? Show me a teenager who scoffs at those sneaky loony lefty pinko bastards, reads Miranda Devine and listens to Alan Jones. (I still don't know how he can get away with that 'men's lavatory incident' and still be the king of the blue rinse set, spouting his right wing hate crap.)

And my favourite...

"In the beginning was Menzies."

What, they now worship the fucker like God?

Oh yeah, and their website SUCKS ARSE!


5 very angry goats

Just found a more deserving Number One Laziest Album Cover Artwork

It's also a case of WTF. But then so many of them are.




5 glorious goats

Obviously never been a backpacker

This one really has me scratchin' me noodle.

From www.smh.com.au.

$27M Bedbug Bite Action

A Chicago booking agent and her husband have sued a New York resort for ... $27 million.

She says her body and mind were scarred after she suffered 500 bedbug bites while staying at the hotel last summer.

Leslie Fox, 54, said she and husband Stephen Cohen never felt the bedbugs bite while sleeping at the 700-room Nevele Hotel in Ellenville, New York.

She said she noticed the lesions when she got up after their third night at the hotel.

------------------

Now there's a thought. I could start lawsuits against some of the places I'VE stayed over the years. Admittedly, you don't expect bedbugs at 5 star hotels, but GET OVER IT YOU FUCKING WHINGING YANKS!

Personally, I'm not completely over having to pay £60 to stay a night in the shittiest, bedbugged, pubic-hair-in-shower, worst-decor hostel in Athens because there was no other accommodation at the time. But do you see me starting an action against the Zorba Hostel, do ya!?

4 angry goats

And one time....in caucus

Last night ABC aired a special on filthy red head cum polly Julia Gillard. I have unearthed an amazing similarity between Julia and the bird out of American Pie which raises the question....are all red heads filthy little vixen? I think so... today's post is devoted to Red Heads everwhere, and Alyson Harrington's sex tape, well done google...keep it up. 3 Happy Goats

Best Album Covers of All Time

Welcome to the first of a series of posts, in which I judge the 10 best album covers of all time. And by best, of course I mean the most disturbing.

It's really gonna be a challenge to come up with categories for some of the covers I plan to post - almost all could fall into the 'Most Bizarre' category or the 'Most Perplexing'. Or 'Most Unintentially Hilarious'. You'll see why.

Also check out the Museum of Bad Album Covers from which I drew some inspiration. I'm so grateful that somebody bothers to spend time on the important things.

Number One: Laziest Artwork On an Album Cover

Would have to go to Dethkorps' 1991 hit (or tit?) album 'Metal Tit'.



I just love this cover in all its postmodern glory. The rolling hills. The smoking, err... things. The big round wheels. The guns? Those three unexplainable scribbles at the bottom. The completely perplexing scene that's meant to be depicted which looks like it's drawn by a 5 year old.

In short, solid gold and well deserving of its 5 happy goats.